*Editor’s Note: This post was originally written and published on an old blog on August 27, 2013 shortly after I made my big move from Orlando, Florida to Seattle, Washington. I found it to be a post that I really enjoyed re-reading for the first time two years later and I wanted to share it in this space.
It’s interesting because I spent about two years in the space I describe below, however I am starting to come out of it and getting back to that old “seeking” self… which is definitely not a bad thing. I’ve been enjoying the highs (and riding out the lows) of life in a new city, with new friends, and lots to do, but now I’m ready for what’s next and this website is part of that. It’s exciting to feel this way again and I’m in a completely different mindset than I’ve ever been before. Much less pressure and expectations put on myself… much more desire to just create and have a voice in this world.
I’ve had a crazy year and it’s involved a lot of changes and new adventures, some really fun stuff and some really scary stuff. It’s been up and down – mostly up. It’s provided me with the chance to think about what I really want in life and what my goals are. These changes have had a huge impact on my love affair with life and how I want to spend my time. They’ve also reminded me how lucky I am to have the support, unconditional love, and companionship of my amazing husband.
A couple things I’ve learned:
I’ll never stop planning or trying to figuring it out.
I’ve accepted the fact that I’m a personal growth junkie.
However, after a burst of inspiration and motivation following the World Domination Summit in Portland I felt really burned out and unsure of where I wanted to go with my blog, my personal brand, and all these amazing ideas I had swirling around in my head. I have some big dreams — like some really big ass dreams — and I know that one day I’ll achieve some of them, in their own way, but right now I’m in a really good place…
And I just now figured that out.
Life is pretty damn awesome. I have a job that I absolutely love because I’m challenged everyday and get the freedom that is so important to me.
My husband is amazing in every way and I love the city of Seattle as my new home. I have friends and family that love and support me — even though I miss them a lot. I’m happy, healthy, fulfilled, passionate, and pretty much the most content I’ve ever been in my life.
This is a first for me.
But I’ve decided to embrace it. To allow myself to enjoy this moment of goodness, this moment of contentment that my personality rarely lets me enjoy.
My whole life I’ve spent striving for the next gold star, the next step up the ladder, the next moment of achievement. I’ve always wanted to be better, faster, smarter, and planning my next attack on life. Yes, I’m a passionate, driven gal who sometimes doesn’t know when to “turn it off.”
Well, the last few weeks I’ve been able to turn it off for once. I’ve stopped planning what I should be doing and obsessing over extra curricular classes I should be taking. I’ve stopped obsessing at the stack of books I still need to crack open and I’ve allowed myself to focus on the two things that are making me most happy and fulfilled right now… my current job and my free time exploring this beautiful region with my husband.
For now… today at least… that is enough. I am enough.
When is enough for you? When do you know it’s time to just be in the now and stop obsessing over the future?
Think of a time that you’ve been most content and not “striving” for what’s next. How did it feel? How did you respond to this sense of peace – did you embrace or struggle with it? What did that feel like?